What if i told you i was incapable of tolerating my own heart? The perpetual upheaval it causes me. The onslaught of invading feelings is almost tearing down the wall I'm erecting.
What if i say my mental sanity is in a tug of war but unlike the strongest of ropes, it's a feud of patience tryin to keep the thread from snapping, a feud between my intellect and my heart.
My demons laugh as they rejoice in my pain, my strength feels like a dimming flicker of a candle attempting to hold it together till the end.
Peace and chaos can't co-exist, I've learned it from the best, gnawing inside my skin to escape my temple of hell.
Somedays I'm as calm as they come, the focus of a monk, somedays i recognize myself as the monster that haunts my thoughts.
I chase them out, as I'm being chased by them, a game of cat and mouse, but am i both in this case?
Attachments to a soul is keeping me hostage, making me circle back in a maze of no escape.
Holding a gun to my own head, i struggle to pull the trigger, so instead i use the fear to propel further. Fear of failure battling fear of losing myself, wrestling my inner being, desperately trying to win against myself.
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